Fallout 3 : Epic Fail

My heart is aching. Just about everyday, I go visit my little Paragon of Good in the Jefferson Memorial lock up. Just a few experience points away from level 18, and she'll never see the murky daylight of the Wasteland again.

I was all set to RAVE to you about Fallout 3. A perfect combination of gaming treats: a little shooting, a little collecting, a whole lot of exploring and a fantastic storyline to tie it all up. This is the world of post-apocalyptic open-ended gaming, solo-style. No two games are alike. The key element that steers the mood is (not surprisingly) good vs evil story choices. And unlike Mass Effect, where the characters got pissed off if you were rude to them, but the results were the same, in Fallout 3, you really do lead a separate life on either side of the fence. You can even sit ON the fence and be neutral, in which case I guess people start depositing all their money in your banks... Fallout 3 caters to a myriad of gamers. If you prefer story, stick to it. If side quests are your bag, dig in. If you are deep in the core of your being, a TRUE nerd, the physics of object manipulation and interaction are so detailed that you could easily spend several hours just organizing the shelves of your Megaton pad. Yes, I cleaned my apartment. Digitally.

I was in love, goddamn it. 63 hours in and dreaming about Bobbleheads. And then somehow, someway, I stumbled across the MOTHER of all glitches. The Main Story Line, a series of quests which divulge chunk by juicy chunk the whereabouts of your father and the whole point of your crummy digital existence... well, I got to what I assume is about halfway through, when the game just started freezing. No response, reboot. Try again? Freeze again. Yes, I tried everything. I spewed venom all over the forums, I bought a map of Maryland and threw darts at Bethesda. WHY. Why does this have to happen to me?? I found a similar glitch in Champions of Norrath (Damn you, Babik Nurn!). And by similar I mean, the only true way to fix the glitch is to START OVER. With the 'patch' downloaded. Maybe.

But I can't do it, gentle reader. Not right now. The first few levels of that game kinda SUCK anyway. At least they do now that I look back - through this veil of bitter tears. A fellow gamer, content in his comfy past-the-glitch-world suggested I could just go finish all the side quests and explore. How dare he? It's not the SAME!! Nothing will ever be the same. Instead, each day, I power up my Xbox and load the game one more time, hoping that maybe, just maybe, this time it won't freeze. I lost faith along time ago.

You murdered me, Bethesda. Let it be known.

The Ring 3 - Red Ring of Death (Trailer!)

You missed me, didn't you? Just say you did. It doesn't really matter if you're lying, as long as you're convincing. I missed you. I'm lying. I didn't think of anyone for the past 6 months. Except "Banekitty", my level 70 (finally!) Tauren Druid. FOR THE HORDE! She's feral spec, btw, and loves to tank Heroics. Especially since the latest patch.

For those of you who are confused, in RL (real life) terms, I got addicted to World of Warcraft. But now that Wrath of the Lich King is pending, I have gotten off my butt to tell you a little story about something that's affected over 33% of you spectacular XBox 360 owners. It's called the Red Ring of Death, and last spring it took down our 360 Elite like a lowbie noob in Gurubashi Arena. (I told you not to go in there - that treasure chest isn't alone!)

For more details, check out my latest video, "The Ring 3". And if you do come across this nasty defect, don't bother with blankets and prayers, simply call Microsoft and they will trade it out for a shiny refurbished one in no time. Cause if they don't? Well, they have trained us in urban, post-apocalyptic, stealth and wartime combat... so I don't think they really want to test us, now do they?

Want to test video games??

If you live in the LA area, you can totally be on my call list to test the latest video games! You must be able to attend a testing in the LA area during the week. Please send me an email at taraochs@gmail.com with the following details - and do it quick, I already have two testings lined up for this week!!

Name:
Age:
Gender:
Phone:
Email:
What consoles you own (from PC to XBox, and including handhelds)
Your three favorite games (current)

These sessions offer compensation of free games and often cash as well! It's a lot of fun and I have all kinds of games that need testing, so don't hesitate to drop me a line, even if you're just a beginner or casual gamer!

The Guitar Review LIVES!

Here I go (FINALLY) posting another review. Do you want my excuse as to why this took so long? Can you say MMORPG? Yup. It was inevitable. Along with a new laptop with optimum processing speed comes the ability to play Warcraft. You didn't seriously think I was going to be able to hold out once I knew my Mac would run the game, did you?

But inevitably, I was humiliated after trying to run my first instance, and so I return to you, my faithful XBox friends. Here is the latest installment of "What's In My Box?" I did a little comparison study of the guitar games. I think you will likey.

Here's the thing about the great schism which created Rock Band and left GH3 painlessly intact - IT WAS A GOOD THING. One game now honors the skill and art of air guitar gaming, while the other pays tribute to the fact that most of us just want to play, and don't give a flying hoot about scores and rep. Well, there was the one guy who insisted that we didn't give up a song because we would lose our hard-earned fanbase. But that just makes him a prime candidate for the beer run. :)

Rockband vs Guitar Hero 3

That's what's next, fools! I will shoot it this week and hopefully have it up in the next few days. I wanted to add a little more production value, maybe show you some hot new girls, and put together my own clever in-camera effects. But in the end it may just be a cute review from a girl with boobs. We'll see. I'm getting to it! Sheesh! I had to go snow-boarding and surfing this weekend. Yes, I did. Look, you asked for a well-rounded, ideal girlfriend, so in order to be your everything, I have to put in a little extra party-time. Now, don't start arguing with me. It's your fault you suggested I start playing Mass Effect BEFORE I had the RB vs GH3 review finished. You know I'm going upstairs right now to finish just one more level and then I can start taping my review. Don't look at me like that! Alright, fine. I swear I'll do it on my very first ever console, the TI. Now you know I'm serious. Here's a pic of me in the snow.

In my Spare Time

When not playing video games, I am sleeping. What a short post.

OK, so also on Friday nights I do improv. Just in case you want to see me live and funny and you are in LA. Here it is:

Fridays at 9pm, ACME Comedy Theatre of Los Angeles takes on the tough questions that LOST won't answer! Hilarious on-going comedy show gets 'deeper' into the real mysteries of the island.

LostAway Island
Fridays, 9pm til April 4th
ACME Comedy Theatre
http://www.acmecomedy.com/
135 N. La Brea Ave
Los Angeles, CA 90036
(323) 525-0202

This ain't your Gilligan's Island

Halo 3 Review!

It's finally up, my little chickens! Your patience has been rewarded with yet another review by a girl who plays games. I swear! Except that in the process of trying to get this baby published, I haven't been able to play anything new - you know how addiction starts. And of course with my new MacBook comes the ability to play a certain online sensation known as the World of Warcraft. GREAT. Nice knowing you! So next up, I think, is going to be a ridiculous comparison of Guitar Hero 3 and RockBand. It will, if all goes well, be my first review which will include other hot girls. OK, settle down. I know what you want and of course you're gonna get it, but first you really must behave.

Say, while you are watching the Halo 3 review, why not subscribe to my channel? The reviews should be coming more regularly now. Yeah, that sounds like a great idea...

I also need to credit a source, in my review. If you want to know how to see and learn more about "finding the skulls," visit Halo3Planet.com. Those guys are serious!